By MANDY STADTMILLER
Last updated: 11:23 am
October 7, 2008
Posted: 3:07 am
October 7, 2008
HE can't afford the ring. He wants to quit smoking first. He hates the idea of tarnishing your sacred love with something as "common" and "legally binding" as a piece of paper.
Hooey... all of it.
"If you really want to get married, you deserve that," says the happily wedded Lori Uscher-Pines, a 29-year-old public health researcher at Johns Hopkins University and author of "The Get-Your-Man-to-Marry-You Plan: Buying the Cow in the Age of Free Milk," out tomorrow.
MORE: Will You Spill Your Engagement Secrets?
She doesn't define "milk" as just nookie, either.
"If your ultimate goal is a ring on the finger, it's not only about the sex," she says. "Free milk is benefits that a man gets from having a wife."
So The Post gave Uscher-Pines our own ultimatum: Give us the Top 5 mistakes women make, and the Top 5 strategies they get right - or it's over between us.
She obliged, and it was better than snuggling. Plus, we felt really pretty inside!
The Don't List
No. 1: Don't become your boyfriend's therapist. This is "nagging for smart people," she says. Sure, you think you're helping by getting to the root of his mommy issues and constantly talking about what childhood "commitment" incident may have scarred him. Reallly - your intentions are obvious and kind of embarrassing.
No. 2: Don't get friends to lobby on your behalf. Ooooh. Where to start. "When you do that, it isolates him and it makes it seem like it's the world against him," she says. "You really want to make it seem like the two of you are on the same team, and everyone else is on the opposing team." Also: It's lame.
No. 3: Don't use the stick instead of the carrot. Hey, Einstein! You're going to withhold sex as a girlfriend to teach him a lesson, eh? "Men are afraid their wives aren't going to have sex with them," she says. "What kind of a message are you sending when you're not having sex when you're just dating?" An idiotic one. That's what.
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