Last updated: 1:20 pm
September 6, 2008
Posted: 1:07 pm
September 6, 2008
ST. PAUL - Tuesday night, and the despair is calcifying my joints. Will the last voter to leave the Republican party kindly turn out the lights?
The Rethuglicans tonight squander prime time on the Crusty Ol' White Guy vote. They indulge in a double dip of the Depends demo: First spake Fred Thompson (R-Cape Fear) and then Joe Lieberman (D/R/I-Apostasy), who together have amassed 132 years on earth, although you could be forgiven for thinking that each reached that mark separately. They deliver hectoring respect-your-elders denture-flappage based in the firm belief that this election comes down to the kind of people you find in a VFW hall in Dallas. "Listening to [the Democrats], you'd think we were in the middle of a Great Depression," blares Thompson, and his viewers, if any, are transported back to their high school days.
John McCain (R-Hanoi) served in the military, have you heard? Look at the last few war heroes to run for president against non-war heroes. Kerry. Dole. Bush (41) won one, then lost one to a draft dodger. McGovern lost. Exploits martial don't register anymore. Thompson talks about McCain's hundreds of demerits in the Naval Academy. How are Johnny Mac's discipline problems reason to vote for him? Who even knows what a demerit is any more? And do we really want to hear McCain dated a stripper called "Marie, the Flame of Florida"?
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