By MARINA VATAJ
Last updated: 9:05 am
July 22, 2008
Posted: 3:49 am
July 22, 2008
VICTOR and his clinically obese friend of 10 years talked about everything from finances to relationships. But when she sat down and broke his brand-new couch, it became obvious weight was the one subject they'd never discuss.
"In all the years we've been friends and talked about many different things, neither of us had the courage to address the elephant in the room, no pun intended," says the 31-year-old, who asked that his last name not be used.
How to Tell Your Friend She's Fat
"It wasn't until eight years after the couch incident that I finally had the audacity to bring up what was there all along. And even so many years later, it was very difficult to sit down and tell her that, at about 500 pounds, she wasn't healthy and had to do something about it," he says.
While friends tell friends and loved ones to stop smoking, drinking, shopping and even sleeping around, addressing a friend's weight remains taboo.
But with 34 percent of New Yorkers overweight - 22 percent are obese, according to the New York City Health Department - friends are forcing themselves to discuss downsizing.
"One of my best friends since childhood suddenly started packing on the pounds, and I thought there was no way I was going to bring it up, that it was far too sensitive," says 25-year-old Jacky.
When the weight gain hit 50 pounds, she broke her silence.
"I thought, if I'm not going to tell her, who will? I'd want her to tell me, so I sat her down and told her I've noticed her weight gain. It was a tough conversation, but ultimately for the best."
Susan Bartell, a psychologist specializing in weight issues and author of "Dr. Susan's Girls-Only Weight Loss Guide,"
advises that confronting a friend about weight shouldn't be taken lightly.
