February 26, 2007
IT WAS almost as if there were no host at all.
Ellen DeGeneres' role last night in her first outing as host of the Academy Awards was so infinitesimal, it makes you wonder why they even have a host. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but it was clear that Ellen, 49 - the first lesbian (that we know of) to host the telecast - came to the Oscars planning to play it safe.
In an ABC telecast that will likely be remembered as the dullest, most bloated, Academy Awards ever, she offered no edgy insults of nominees and almost no political commentary (for a change), except for a line about Al Gore (who won for "An Inconvenient Truth") and the close presidential election in 2000.
Dressed in a mannish velour tuxedo with open-collar shirt and white patent-leather shoes, Ellen did not participate in any production numbers.
She made her first appearance ambling onstage after an overlong filmed opening in which dozens of nominated nobodies took turns spouting nonsense and making funny faces.
She then delivered a monologue whose topics included her childhood dream of hosting the Oscars and the pressures the nominees must be feeling about their nominations.
It was bland, predictable stuff. Her best line: "If there were not blacks, Jews and gays, there would be no Oscars [pause for applause] or anyone named Oscar, when you think about that."
I almost never think this, much less write it or say it, but, at the risk of sounding smug, I have to say I could have written a better monologue.
I also would have chosen to use Ellen in the only comedy production number of the whole evening - a winning performance by comedic stars Jack Black, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly singing, "A comedian at the Oscars, the saddest man of all . . . ," a song lamenting that comedies rarely get nominated.
Ellen can sing and dance. And she's a comedian. So why didn't anyone think to include her in this bit?
As the evening wore on, Ellen returned, sometimes strolling the aisles trolling for celebrities. She handed Martin Scorsese a script and made him promise to read it. Later, she encountered Clint Eastwood and persuaded Steven Spielberg to take their picture.
These guys might be great directors, but as comic foils, they're stiffs.
Ellen's no stiff, however. And last night, she was as charming as ever.
It was her role as host that seemed irrelevant.
The critics today will note she offended nobody. For that alone, she will likely be asked back.
