Good morning, class. The undead-line for your term paper will be . . . The University of Baltimore is offering a new course on zombies this semester. Students who sign up for Zombie 101 will...
Somebody ought to be called on the carpet. A quote woven into the new Oval Office rug -- "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice" -- is attributed on the fabric to...
That high didn't last long. A naked man on LSD jumped off a 100-foot cliff in California and survived. The man, who wasn't coherent enough to provide his name, hurled himself off a ledge at...
Whoever "donated" these items is not a person of goodwill. Someone left ammunition, a pistol, a grenade and marijuana in the collection box of a Goodwill store in Albuquerque, NM, a donation...
Is Howard Stern sitting on this school board? The powers that be in Seminole County, Fla., have banned girls from wearing short skirts -- except, of course, for cheerleaders, who are free to...
A guy in Oregon dialed 911 for room service. Mark Eskelsen called cops from his home hot tub to say he needed a towel, hot chocolate with marshmallows -- and a hug. He's looking at a stretch...
Here's a murder case that sounds like an episode of "CSI" written by fifth-grade boys. A man named Kermit Butts, 29, was arrested in the shotgun killing of a man named Samuel Boob in central...
She wouldn't have made a very good Santa Claus. A Bakersfield, Calif., woman died after she tried to get into the home of her on-again, off-again boyfriend by sliding down the chimney. The...
Wherefore art thou, Captain Kirk? Shakespeare has finally been translated into Klingon. The Arlington, Va.-based Washington Shakespeare Company will perform selections from "Hamlet" and "Much...
His next snack will be bread and water. Cops in Gonzales, La., finally collared the "Brownie Bandit," a man accused of breaking into a bakery several times, stealing fresh brownies and leaving...
My contraband has a first name . . . A Holyoke, Mass., resident was busted after cops found more than a kilogram of cocaine hidden in a hollowed-out hunk of bologna. The local Post Office had...
McDonald's has been sued a few times by patrons who accidentally scalded themselves with coffee, but now an alleged thief has gotten burned. A burger flipper at a Portland, Maine, outlet tossed...
These master criminals never heard of casing a joint before pulling a heist. Two men in Portland, Ore., were busted for shoplifting from a store while it was holding a police charity event...
A Florida man was jailed after getting into an argument with his bicycle. Richard Bialon, 68, fired off so many obscenities at the bike at a Palm Beach-area gas station that onlookers called...
You sure can't accuse these housebreakers of a cover-up. A couple entered a home in Elma, Wash., promptly undressed, and made a sex video. When a neighbor of the vacationing homeowners dropped...
The country's oldest Little Leaguers finally played their all-star game -- 37 years late. The game was scheduled for 1973, but the Ypsilante, Mich., American League lost its charter when it...
A pig-wrestling competition at the county fair in Great Falls, Mont., has been canceled -- because the porkers eluded capture. Fair managers usually have no problem nabbing at least 30 wild...
Hip, hip, hooray! A French surgeon may have entered the record books by saving a 154- pound gorilla who broke her thigh bone at the hip when she took a tumble from a tree. Kwanza, 8,...
Talk about dirty money! A DWI and drug suspect in Florida shocked cops when $45 fell out of his butt during a strip search. Nicholas Harris, 19, who initially denied he had cash on him, was...
Don't Smokey near this bear. Marijuana growers in Canada have been using bears to protect their crops, but the well-fed animals were apparently dazed and confused on the job. Police...
Rainy days and suspicious packages get the Cypress, Calif., police down. The headquarters of the Orange County police force was closed and a bomb squad was called in after a mysterious box...
Mamma Mia! A suspected mobster was busted by Italian police after he surfaced to visit his mom's home for lunch. Rosario Scognamillo, a 39-year-old accused of being a high-ranking member of the...
Memo to future bank robbers: Knock off institutions you don't patronize! Employees at a Galloway, Ohio, bank thought a robber looked familiar -- because he was a regular customer. Alan...
The dog ate my . . . election petition? Terry Thomas was going to run for a seat on the Beaufort County, SC, school board and had nearly 200 signatures on a petition. That was until Spencer, his...
Next time someone whispers "Here come da judge" in court, make sure not to laugh. A Fayetteville, NC, courtroom visitor learned that the hard way when he started chortling and the judge threw...
This Florida woman had a big beef with Wal-Mart. Arlene Kahn bought ground beef there, and was shocked to find two prescription sleeping pills in the meat as she started preparing beef...
Space geeks have something new to snicker about. Astronomers, including one named John Johnson, has discovered planets orbiting a star called Sextanis 24 and have named the planets "Sex B" and...
If your hear something, say something. A beeping sound coming from a mailbox in Plainview, LI, yesterday sparked an evacuation when authorities feared it might be a bomb. Instead, "it...
o kidding! Descendants of legendary Old West lawman Pat Garrett have urged New Mexico's governor to reject a plan to posthumously pardon Billy the Kid. The notorious outlaw was killed in 1881 by...
The groom wore handcuffs and a jumpsuit. Easton, Pa., Judge Leonard Zito did double duty in his courtroom. First, he held a hearing for drug suspect Franklin Barndt, then he presided over...
nauseous school-bus driver carrying dozens of kids opened the door so he could vomit but ended up falling out of the bus. The bus then continued on without him, crashed, and rolled into a ditch...
28-year-old Chinese man filmed himself diving beneath a train barreling into a Shanghai subway station because he thought it would be interesting. And it was interesting — to the Shanghai cops,...
Hell apparently hath no fury like a high-schooler scorned. A 17-year-old allegedly having a sexual relationship with his teacher at Freeland HS in Saginaw, Mich., turned in his pedagogical...
woman's attempt at art criticism has gotten her busted. Anne Carve, 56, allegedly stole a pair of men's undershorts from the front of a Salisbury, NC, gallery where they had been hanging as an...
All you need to know you learned in kindergarten -- but two California women apparently need a refresher course. They showed poor kindness skills when they got into a fight at a kindergarten...
The nation's first combination vending machines/Breathalyzers are being tested in Pennsylvania. To buy wine, customers first insert a driver's license to prove they're over 21. Their identities...
He just wanted more lettuce. The world's greediest bandit held up a Wendy's in Atlanta and walked off with $586. Then he called the store twice to complain it wasn't enough. "Next time, there...
His soul was saved until he stole some soles. A repentant would-be robber -- who left a Florida cellphone store empty-handed after his intended victim invoked Jesus -- apparently had a...
This puppy really had to go. Richard Coerber, 72, was turning into a parking spot at a liquor store in Woodbury, Minn., when his excited dachshund just couldn't wait any longer. He wriggled to...
A 33-year-old Modesto, Calif., meth-possession suspect somehow set off the sprinkler system throughout police headquarters when he was briefly left alone in an interrogation room. "It was...
Modest fliers can buy a new product to keep their privates private. "Flying pasties" come in a one-piece version for men and a three-piece set for women to wear when going through the new...
Watch out for those iPad fanatics -- they may be bad apples. A survey cited by Wired magazine found owners of the gadget are likely to be "wealthy, well educated, power-hungry, overachieving,...
He may be just 10 years old, but he's doing his part for America. Steven Goodman, of Surprise, Ariz., creates home-made greeting cards, and plans to send one to each of the 180,000 members of the...
This crook should get a chamber of commerce entrepreneur award. Travis Kevie wandered into Penryn, Calif., and noticed that a historic tavern, the Valencia Club, had been shuttered -- so he broke...
ant to catch a two-bit cellphone thief? There's an app for that! David Kahn's iPhone was stolen in San Francisco, where he was in meetings to show off his company's new product -- a GPS tracking...
Shut yo' mouth, buddy! A 58-year-old Bremerton, Wash., motorist got so angry when a 55-year-old jokester shouted a "Yo' momma" line at him that he slammed on the brakes of his pickup and...
Third time's not a charm. A Montana woman arrested for two bank heists in a week was caught after her third robbery when she locked her keys in her getaway car. The woman had been on the...
A Utah man whose wife had an order of protection against him sent a letter to her cat -- and ended up being ratted out. Ronald Charles Dallas allegedly sent the feline, named Molly, a message...
Unfortunately, skunks don't go very well with melted butter. A Maine lobsterman made an unwelcome discovery on dry land, when a lobster pot he left out behind his house managed to trap a skunk...
He should open his first dealership in Flushing. Dave Hirsch of Colorado will never again have to worry about toilet breaks on road trips. He's designed a vehicle that seats two adults -- on...
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