Don't try being rebellious by skipping Old San Juan - it's on most visitors' radars for good reasons. A couple to start with: Alcadia, San Juan's city hall on Calle San Francisco, has been renovated numerous times over the centuries - now it's less Madrid and more art galleries, though still colonial. Then there are the many museos, each could take a day to explore. Museo de Arte y Historia de San Juan, once a marketplace, is now a fine collection of historical exhibits in physical form as well as A/V (150 Calle Norzagaray). Museo del Nino is more amusement park than stuffy exhibit space - good for the kids looking for bugs, "hands-on" exhibits or clothes to play dress up (150 Calle Cristo). History Channel addicted dads should not miss Fuerte San Felipe del Morro, an honest to god fortress built by the Spaniards back in the 16th centry. It's got all the trimmings: dungeons, turrets, barracks, secret passageways (Calle Norzagaray).

Old San Juan's nightlife revolves around Calle San Sebastian, where's it's bar after bar, poolhall after poolhall, between alternating jazz and salsa clubs. For a more upscale night of debauchery, head to the SoFo (south of Fortaleza) sector of OSJ - and remember, hotel bars and lounges can sometimes be the most fun, duck in when you see one.

Time to branch out to greater San Juan. Start at the Universidad de Puerto Rico's botanical garden in Rio Piedras, chock full of tropical critters and vegetation (intersection of Rtes. 1 and 847). Then, to get a sense of Puerto Rico's more modern pulse, hit Museo de Arte Contemporaneo de Puerto Rico on Av. Ponce de Leon in Santurce. Up and coming artists aren't bashful about their political statements here, especially when it comes to their US commonwealth status.

On the beach front, you have your choice of the family-friendly (and life-guarded) Balneario de bron in Puerta de Tierra, just off Ave. Munoz Rivera, or the condo-fied Playa de Isla Verde, probably the busiest beach in town. Or, there's always the rougher waters of Playa de Ocean Park between Condado and Isla Verde. You'll be joined by local surfers and the college crowd who frown on life-guards and everything they stand for.

DRAGONFLY

What does Latin-Asian fusion actually mean (if it means anything at all)? For your edification, hit up this joint in Old San Juan. If you're good-tempered enough to tolerate the crowds (no reservations), and un-prudish enough to bask in the whorehouse-like ambience, the pay off is pork with plantains dumplings in orange sauce, wasabi salsa pizza or glazed lamb ribs (364 Calle La Fortaleza).

AJILI-MOJILI

While the rest of the suckers in Candado undergo, however polite, highway robbery over at Chayote, the smart eat here at this plantation house (it's mandatory to visit at least one when you're in the colonial Caribbean), overlooking Candado Bay. Is shrimp in white-wine herb sauce your pleasure? Or is the stuffed Cornish hen more to your liking? From spicy sausage to chicken to octopus, you'll find all creatures great and small on the menu (1006 Av. Ashford).

KASALTA

If you're looking for WMD-grade coffee, this Ocean Park beach bum haunt is where to go (ulcer sufferers, keep moving - else, there will be blood). The baristas here brew up coffee so black it absorbs light. But the café's pastries, Cubano sandwiches and octopus salads help soften the blow (1966 Calle McLeary).

EL CONVENTO

A good 350 years before the dopey concept of "girl getaways" was conceived in the quaint little noodle of some ambitious PR chick, some unknowingly trendsetting nuns inhabited this Old San Juan abode. Now it's a "Small Luxury Hotels" member (the only one in Puerto Rico) which embraces its past, at least in name, but not at the expense of the present: LCD screens, Bose stereos, and complimentary high-speed in each of its 58 rooms, as well as in the Library and business center. But that's just the hi-techery - there are also marble bathrooms, 4 onsite restaurants and a state-of-the-art gym (from $225; elconvento.com).

NORMANDIE HOTEL

Art Deco'd out like a mother, this breath of fresh air in Puerta de Tierra is 50 percent glass, and 50 percent metal, yet somehow manages to fit in. The rooms are sleek, with dim lighting, complimentary high-speed, WiFi and flat screens - even "VIPet service" (a rarity in not-so-animal-friendly Puerto Rico). Regardless if you're staying here or not, you'll probably find your way to its trendy N Lounge, which has an outdoor terrace and DJ (from $135; normandiepr.com).

RITZ CARLTON

If you have to stay at a hotel/casino, might as well be the Ritz Carlton in Isla Verde (sitting in tragic proximity to the airport that'll never shut up, but the windows and walls muffle most of it), which includes the usual physical incarnations of whatever's supposed to signify class -- fountains, chandeliers, lion statues, even a separate entrance into said casino -- plus a couple of nods to its surroundings, like works of local artists on the walls and spa treatments that make use of local produce. There's in-room high-speed internet, plus a decked-out business center with audio/visual doodads (from $379; ritzcarlton.com).

Flights:

Lest you forget -- and it's easy to do -- Puerto Rico is a US commonwealth. That means, even with tightening border laws, US citizens do not need a passport to get through the gates. A driver's license is sufficient.

You'll fly into Luis Munoz Marin International airport (American Airlines' "Caribbean hub") - as will an infinity of others on any given day seeking connecting flights to pretty much every other island in the Caribbean. Fear not the mob, however, because you are at an advantage - US soil means no customs for you, which is more than those British tourists next to you headed for Montserrat can say.

Airlines-wise, you're looking at a variety of options from all New York area airports. Just-under-four hour nonstops are available on American (aa.com), Continental (continental.com), JetBlue (jetblue.com), Delta (delta.com) and United (united.com).

Ground transportation:

If you're not planning on leaving San Juan, a rental car is a big fat waste of money, no matter how cheap ($40/day!).

Instead, keep your eye out for "Parada" signs - that's where the buses stop, and they're everywhere. San Juan's Autoridad Metropolitana de Autobuses has done a remarkable job connecting all the barrios together. Destinations are indicated in nice, large font in their windshields, and fares are always under $1. Exact change, though, please; (787) 767-7979 for info.

And there's also the Tren Urbano, San Juan's metro system and the Caribbean's first form of rapid transit. It's only 16 stations large at this point, but extension plans are in the works. Single-trip fares are $1.50 ($.75 if you're transferring by bus); www.ati.gobierno.pr.

Taxis, like elsewhere in the Caribbean, are yours for the haggling. Arrange your price ahead of time with your driver, though, otherwise you're at risk for a fleecing (you don't miss amphetamined meters until you're forced to deal with humans).

Local Lingo:

Leave the Spanglish at home, por favor - straight up English goes remarkably far here. It's when you leave San Juan that you might have a problem. Map-wise, remember that "calle" is street and "avenida" is avenue and you'll be just fine. That is unless you've gone against our wishes and decided to do the driving, in which case "salida" is exit, "cuidado" is caution, "calle sin salida" is dead end street and "zona escolar" is school zone.